The sad truth is that at this moment, the Changli may be my most reliable vehicle. The Pao’s body is recovered from the deer-smack incident, but there was an undetected radiator crack from the wreck that caused a coolant leak and subsequent overheating, so now I need to replace the head gasket. My wife’s Tiguan is currently driving me fucking clamshit because the PCV valve clogged and I just dropped a bunch of money to replace blown seals, and now another seems to have blown. [Editor’s note: What a lot of people don’t realize is that Jason’s car situation is far worse than mine. I have more broken cars, yes. But I also have more non-broken cars (that’s the genius behind buying so many vehicles), and what’s more, I’m just a single dude. Jason has a family and responsibilities! We all know that the severity of one’s automotive problems can be approximated by one’s Car Situation Index (CSI), which is calculated via the equation CSI = (number of working cars) / (number of broken cars * responsibilities). You want to maximize this number: If you have a lot of working cars, you’re good. If you have few responsibilities, you’re probably okay, and if you’ve got few broken cars, then naturally you’re fine. -DT].
The Yugo runs and is usable, but, you know, it’s still a Yugo. I love it, but it’s a bit, um, marginal. The Beetle’s carbs are off and awaiting me to clean them, which I’ve been very effectively putting off, and it’s been sitting a while. [Editor’s note: I don’t know why Jason is neglecting to mention this. The Beetle’s engine is seized. Possibly in need of a full rebuild if he doesn’t get it unstuck. I don’t know if his wife is reading this and he’s trying to keep this on the downlow. If so, sorry Torch! -DT] [Editor’s note-note: I put Marvel Mystery Oil in the Beetle’s engine a while ago, hopefully to de-gunk and un-seize it. If I don’t check on it, I can assume it worked! So that’s where I am: assuming it’s freed, and just needs the carbs back on. This is the same method I’m using by avoiding getting a colonoscopy.] I’m not proud of any of this, of course, it’s just the reality of where I am. David left his manual ZJ here, so that’s been very handy to have around, and, yes, the humble little Changli has been filling in for all kinds of in-town duties. I’ve been driving that little 1.1 horsepower goofball around a lot. In fact, on some weekends, it’s all I drive! I’ve been using it so much around town, people have started taking grainy, Sasquatch-like videos of it and putting them online:
— Mark WEEN Pelto (@Mark_the_Z_spot) April 3, 2022 You can ignore the upper tweet there, just watch that bottom video. I was dropping my kid Otto off at his friend’s place when I was spotted there. For getting around the smallish college town where I live, I’ve proven all you need is an electric horse and a fractional horse, four wheels, and a funny-looking shell to cover it all up. I even took the ol’ ‘Li through a fast food drive-through for the first time, and hardly anyone batted an eye.
It’s been fantastic. You really don’t need to push around 4,000 pounds of car – electric or combustion – to do most of what you need to do. While the Changli has been just about trouble-free, it hasn’t been completely trouble-free. There’s been one new problem that’s cropped up, and while it’s not especially severe, it’s very annoying. It’s this:
See what’s going on there? When you try to use the turn indicators or wiper, the whole unit that houses the control stalks rotates as well, so instead of, say, indicating a right turn, you’re rotating the whole damn thing 70° clockwise. It’s so annoying. I figured this should be an easy fix, right? Probably just some loose screws, so that’s what I checked first:
I thought these two screws might be what clamps the unit to the steering column, but nope. Tightening them did nothing. So, I removed them, thinking maybe the plastic housing would split in half, revealing whatever clamps the stalks to the column, but no again. In fact, I have no idea just what these two screws do at all. So, I kept looking. While searching, I did solve one minor mystery: Why does the steering wheel make that funny squeaky-scrapey sound when I turn it? Turns out, this is why:
See those little spring-loaded brass contacts? Those are the electrical contacts for the horn! They’re a little noisy when they rub against their contact rings, but overall it’s a pretty clever solution. Still, that’s not what I need. I kept looking, and eventually found this:
There’s a nice, meaty screw! That’s probably the set screw to keep this unit tight! So I tightened it. And, nothing. Huh. I then removed it, to see what was going on, and this is what I found:
There was a strange little threaded cuff on the screw, and that seemed to be restricting the screw’s ability to make hard contact with the shaft to keep the stalk unit in position. I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t an issue before, so I removed the cuff, thinking I’d then be able to screw the set screw far enough in to make a strong lock. But, again, no luck. You see, what I didn’t realize was that there’s no threaded hole on the stalk unit itself; that cuff-thing is the threaded hole! I suppose it was cheaper to buy a little fitting like that than to mold threads into the plastic? Or maybe the plastic is just too soft to make screw threads effective? Probably both. What seems to have happened is the threaded cuff worked its way out of the hole in the plastic meant for the set screw, and now it’s all loose. I tried hammering the cuff back in, but it only worked a bit, and the thing is still kinda loose. That hole must have just worn itself a bit larger over time. I think I’ll JB weld the cuff in there to make up for the enlarged hole in the plastic, and try the screw again. This should make a more stable threaded hole for that set screw, and keep everything tight. I’m just happy to have figured it out, because it was driving me nuts. Still, as far as problems go, this is really minor, especially with all the use I’ve been giving this $1,200 miracle. We have interesting future plans for the Changli, so, as always, stay tuned, pals. To go with the wonky front bumper. Is that a remnant of the piñata episode? Hmm, pretty sure this has me dividing by 0. Perhaps it should be (working cars) / (1 + (responsibilities * (broken cars * 1/(severity out of 10)) And the opposite, when you make a left, just holding the wiper switch down at off position? That way the opposed torque on both sides of the steering wheel cancel each other out, at the stalks should stay still, according to the laws of physics. Seems a lot easier than taking everything apart, and ruining more soft Chinese plastic in the process. Like a motorcycle or strange French car, it doesn’t have self cancelling blinkers, does it?
